My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
