More tranny stories later!
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
