We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
