hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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