life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I wish i was in the wii world.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
