He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Barsexuality is the new black.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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