Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
