Texts From Last Night

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  (817): View more from Texas

  maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.

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  (817): maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me. http://tfl.nu/m7oc
  Replies (14) Good night (5049) Bad night (702)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.

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  (202): She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified. http://tfl.nu/adq0
  Replies (14) Good night (1627) Bad night (5672)
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  (619): View more from California

  I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.

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  (619): I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me. http://tfl.nu/zz8y
  Replies (3) Good night (856) Bad night (2700)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.

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  (719): Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right. http://tfl.nu/8sag
  Replies (12) Good night (4145) Bad night (1100)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k

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  (908): HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k http://tfl.nu/jlb6
  Replies (10) Good night (1751) Bad night (1142)
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  (340): View more from US Virgin Islands

  I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..

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  (340): I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting.. http://tfl.nu/wypp
  Replies (4) Good night (2225) Bad night (823)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.

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  (216): Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it. http://tfl.nu/vbdo
  Replies (3) Good night (1137) Bad night (836)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea

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  (406): K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea http://tfl.nu/3xax
  Replies (9) Good night (907) Bad night (1261)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept

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  (702): He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept http://tfl.nu/07xi
  Replies (5) Good night (578) Bad night (1166)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.

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  (719): Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done. http://tfl.nu/9qf5
  Replies (5) Good night (1298) Bad night (418)
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  (607): View more from New York

  I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.

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  (607): I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability. http://tfl.nu/69z6
  Replies (3) Good night (708) Bad night (580)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.

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  (843): In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight. http://tfl.nu/6bps
  Replies (3) Good night (759) Bad night (493)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.

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  (720): Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality. http://tfl.nu/zwr4
  Replies (0) Good night (495) Bad night (373)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?

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  (843): Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me? http://tfl.nu/xg65
  Replies (1) Good night (604) Bad night (392)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.

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  (563): I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is. http://tfl.nu/vvi6
  Replies (9) Good night (639) Bad night (452)

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