Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast