im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.