Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?

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  (586): dear santa what can i do with your candy cane? http://tfl.nu/evo0
  Replies (2) Good night (1121) Bad night (540)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.

  (613): View more from Ontario

  This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.

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  (613): There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared. (613): This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea? (613): Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win. http://tfl.nu/1a5o
  Replies (13) Good night (2840) Bad night (506)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.

  (513): View more from Ohio

  and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.

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  (513): You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god. (513): and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon. http://tfl.nu/ae2p
  Replies (21) Good night (5494) Bad night (1039)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.

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  (503): after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success. http://tfl.nu/y8ni
  Replies (15) Good night (5182) Bad night (649)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.

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  (940): Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next. http://tfl.nu/2m7k
  Replies (32) Good night (758) Bad night (4819)
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  (315): View more from New York

  idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me

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  (315): idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me http://tfl.nu/dmik
  Replies (27) Good night (7970) Bad night (896)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.

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  (248): I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk. http://tfl.nu/wafm
  Replies (15) Good night (5225) Bad night (1028)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here

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  (859): Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here http://tfl.nu/kvme
  Replies (13) Good night (1920) Bad night (4745)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.

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  (305): look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no. http://tfl.nu/new9
  Replies (23) Good night (1500) Bad night (3865)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Just look for the house with the beer knights.

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  (240): Just look for the house with the beer knights. http://tfl.nu/2986
  Replies (5) Good night (2153) Bad night (623)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub

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  (918): Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub http://tfl.nu/8dtz
  Replies (8) Good night (2023) Bad night (1060)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.

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  (630): He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick. http://tfl.nu/e6nk
  Replies (29) Good night (1171) Bad night (5963)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?

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  (626): I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/9qof
  Replies (2) Good night (772) Bad night (287)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!

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  (207): C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!! http://tfl.nu/tb1b
  Replies (3) Good night (725) Bad night (310)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.

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  (586): Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh. http://tfl.nu/lt2m
  Replies (3) Good night (446) Bad night (115)

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