Do you still have your period?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Randomize
