I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
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the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
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Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.