I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
