I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
We talked him into tasing himself.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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