how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
