watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
