what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
