erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
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