so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
