I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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