Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
