have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
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