Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
