Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
