make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
