school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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