yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
