my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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