Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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