Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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