the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
