Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
