Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
PANTIES FOUND
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
