some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
