She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
