i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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