Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
