We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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