I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
