So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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