similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
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I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
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I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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