i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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