hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
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She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
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I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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