that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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