Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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