Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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