the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
