ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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