Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
