I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
