we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
