Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize
