I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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