kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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