I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
