He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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