he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
