legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
