Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
