My pussy is not your playground.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
