Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
