u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
So squirting runs in the family.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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