This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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